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Sunday, July 31, 2011

Another Goodbye....

It's Sunday morning and the smell in the air is a refreshing reminder that fall and the excitement of newness is around the bend. I feel like buying new things for my home, but hesitate to do so as there is a possibility of moving. I may however simply just take my house of the market as it certainly does not seem to be many interested buyers at this point in time. It feels like a time of renewal for me. I feel like getting rid of old and dazzling my environment just a tad. It may just be because I miss my children and Im also saddened by the loss of yet another family member. This will be the third funeral that I have to attend of a family member this summer. Saying goodbye always causes great introspection for me.

 My great uncle died at 99 years of age. I will miss his wonderful smile, kind hearted soul and handsome face. He was certainly one of the most handsome men that I have ever seen and committed. I think perhaps part of what I admired in him was the manner in which I remember him when I was under six years old. His wife Ada, was suffering from Alzheimers at the young age of fifty.  Cornelius tenderly and lovingly took care of her for over twenty years after that entirely by himself. His attention to her was admirable. He stayed by her side, he fed her and he sat with her as the memories of her life and those who loved her watch her mind fade away.

He loved her and he honored her and most of all I believe he respected her and the vows that he made as a husband. The love he had for her was unselfish and it was clear to me as a child that he adored her. I was impressed with this relationship at a very young age. 

As I spoke with my second cousin about his father yesterday, it was the first time that I mentioned to him my sentiment about his father. My vivid recollection of this relationship came as a surprise to him as I am 23 years younger than he and we have not had many conversations of such depth. Our interaction has always been loving, friendly and joking. The loss of our fathers has created a bond that I think will grow even deeper going forward. I always welcome a greater bond with family members especially as I mature.

As we struggle with the loss of those we love with our heart and soul, I think it is important to reflect upon how we each individually live our own lives. I believe it to be a great time to evaluate our own behavior and the manner in which we treat others both family, friends and strangers. When I lose someone that I love and respect, I often reflect upon the character of the person that I have lost. I think of the qualities of that person that made them so special. I try and learn from all that I admired in them. My great uncle Canay brought happiness everytime his smile lit up the room. He will rest in peace and the world indeed was a better place with a man like him in it. He will be missed but his memory will remain alive and well and he will always be remembered with a big smile. xo

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