Thanks for Reading Suburban Adventure

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Engaged !

I had the pleasure of seeing cousins and family from near and far yesterday as I attended the wake of my great uncle in Beacon New York. A sad event indeed, however I always find great beauty and depth of the coming together of family in death. If you have the good fortune of having a large extended family-the challenge of saying goodbye to our loved ones is lightened- even if ever so slightly.  Yesterday I enjoyed spending time with cousins and uncles that I seldom have the pleasure of seeing.

When I saw one of my cousins, she had the most beautiful look of excitement combined with calm and I knew that something wonderful was brewing. My instinct was correct as she had become engaged the day prior and was riding on cloud nine. She used to babysit for my brothers and I when we were young and my parents would frequently take trips to Europe. At the time, she was in college and I was in grammar school.  I thought she was stunningly beautiful, incredibly smart, cultured and I loved listening to her tell me all about her college boyfriend or friends depending on the year.

This was by far one of the biggest treats that accompanied my parent's travels. Im the only girl in my family, so for me it was like having a really cool big sister.  I remember the very special bond that she had with my father which of course solidified my positive feelings about her. My loss of my father also impacted her on a very deep level and we often speak of the importance that he had in her life. 

During the course of time, I watched her get married, have two gorgeous children, a successful career, a close family yet a difficult divorce. She traversed the ugliness and challenge that accompany divorce and she came out on top- as anticipated.   She reinvented herself, her dreams and her life. Her children thrive and in fact, her daughter is an amazingly beautiful, well rounded, cultured girl who continually reminds me of her mother when she was in her twenties.  Her son is wonderfully kind, smart and handsome. They are all such a close and beautiful family.  She undoubtedly put her children and their well being continually  above her own. The relationship that she has with her children is one of great reference to me. She is a wonderful role-model for me and for all women who have struggled with an unraveling marriage.

I am in a similar situation as she once was. Im raising a boy and a girl alone and struggling with the fact that the dream of happily ever after and the perfect family unit is simply that- a dream. Thankfully, Im over the disappointment of a failed dream and I have crafted a very happy existence for myself and for Christopher and Giavanna as well. We are thriving, it has taken some time but we I believe we are there.

Im always happy to see her. Yesterday, I was even happier to see her as she had the most gorgeous smile on her face as she shared her happy news. She was in love and happy and she was engaged to a man that fulfilled her in every possible way. A man that stole her heart and her soul. A man that gave her faith that happily ever after- can exist. He has given her back the dream of having a life time partner and someone to share her life with. He has restored her plan for a future of true and absolute contentment.  He loves her children and they love him. Im so incredibly happy for her and for him as he is one of the luckiest men around. Not only does he have he an amazing woman by his side, she comes with baggage- Louis Vuitton Baggage in every respect. They are both very lucky people.

I joke around with many of my female relative- both young and old. Some are divorced and remarried, some are young and single, some have never married at all and some are happily married with 2. 5 children. We are united by blood and by sisterhood. Our experiences are all very different yet happiness is the goal of each of us. I love hearing their stories as well as their take on life, relationships and marriage.

My Aunt Edith and I always enjoy joking around and discussing relationships and marriage and the craziness of life. She has been married to a wonderful man since the beginning of time. It is obvious to those around she and Frank that their marriage is happy, fun, loving, warm, nurturing, committed and successful.
Who better to ask about the elements of what makes a marriage successful and able to stand the test of time. When I seek knowledge I go right to the source of success. She thought that two major elements of a very successful marriage are patience and tolerance. I will take that advice with me as I continue on in the very unlikely event that I will remarry. Most divorced women say that they will never remarry and then one day, they are thrown off guard and they take the plunge again.  The remarriages that I have witnessed in our family seem to be thriving.

 Perhaps one day I will think about remarriage however right now- I would rule it out. I have things under control, peaceful, positive and happy and Im not messing with that formula. xo

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