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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Five Guys And A Girl

I had to laugh the other day as my friend decided that I have five men  (perhaps more ) around me that collectively add up to one husband. As I stopped laughing and started to think about it, I believe she is correct. While it sounds strange, I have found that I indeed have crafted a circle of men that each contribute to my life and well-being in a variety of ways. All of these men are my friends and Im only involved with one of them beyond friendship. So let's begin with him. I refuse to give names so we will just call him boyfriend- boyfriend is wonderfully intelligent, sweet and spends quality adult time with me going into the city, dining out or simply enjoying life together.  He is supportive and wonderful to my children in every respect.  Enough said there- you will need a boyfriend or a companion to fulfill your womanly desires and need for connection. This is the best male to start with so you can enjoy life a bit after the drama of the upheaval.

The rest are in no particular order but they are all important. I have a handy man that is unbelieveable- he can fix anything, has the strength of something animal like- he once carried my sofa over his head and up my staircase alone! He is available at any hour of the day and calls me all the time to see if I need anything. On many occasions, he will bring me my caramel macchiato just for the heck of it. He teaches my son "manly things"  and will also run to the rescue of my Mother should she need something at her house done. He has been a god send to me and he is a good friend.

The next male is the lawyer- essential- and you need him as a friend. If you had to consult a lawyer for every little legal question you had- you would easily have an 5000 bill to pay in no time. The lawyer will help you with all of the baloney that you now have to deal with as a divorced woman. He will also advise you regarding your divorce agreement and whether or not it is to your benefit to modify your agreement - even though you think your divorce is final.... it NEVER is without adjustment at some point. Usually sooner rather than later...

You will also need a landscaper and plow man- one who will put you on his priority list. Otherwise you could be stuck for days alone in your house with zero reprieve from your children. This undoubtedly spells insanity so make sure you set this up prior to the first 29 inch snowstorm that you will experience the first winter of your divorce. 

Last but not least you need a business advisor or someone who may be able to guide you in your financial decisions. Someone who is business savvy and intelligent. Im not suggesting you follow anyone's lead however a little advice from a successful advisor is of great help.  Surround yourself with intelligent people and be selective.

I  have a circle of wonderfully talented, educated and kind-hearted people. I hope that I offer them a friendship that makes all of these relationships unique and mutually rewarding.

 Divorced women have it a bit more challenging as there is no other person to tend to anything. It's all on you, the paperwork, the yard, the snowstorms, the investments, travel plans, the college visits and the frozen pipes. You will need a support system if you want ease of life and along with the support will come wonderful, caring people who are happy to help you. xo

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