Soul Mate

“Maybe girls are our soul mates and guys are just fun to be with. ” Candace Bushnell.

I have never liked the term soul mate. In my mind, it conjures up the fantasy that there is one perfect person out there for each of us who will magically appear and satisfy one hundred percent of our needs. It sets relationships up for false expectations and ultimate failure. Now that Valentines day has wrapped up,  we vividly recall being assaulted with messages of love and adoration. We will be reminded of what we appreciate in our loving relationships or perhaps all that is lacking.

  If we have had failed relationships we will be reminded of those whom we thought were “soul mates” but turned out to be mere disappointments.

Each of our hearts has the ability to connect with more than one person in our lifetime. Should you have the desire to find someone who you can connect with on a meaningful level, you will find that. 

Life is interesting in that it provides us what we need exactly when we need it. The problem however is that we don’t recognize the teacher often when we are learning the lesson. The experiences of our life all add up to meaningful passages no matter how challenging. A failed relationship can offer tremendous insight into who and what truly lurks in your soul. If you can sit still with yourself and truly give voice to your experiences you will understand exactly where you are in this moment. It’s up to you to define what your interior truly craves.

So if you think you haven’t met your “soul mate”, it’s okay. Focus more on attracting a loving and compassionate person who will add to your life in a meaningful way. What you seek is obtainable, it is just a matter of being in tune with your true desires.

 With time and maturity comes the realization that beautiful relationships are not limited to one person. Life is interesting in that it does seem that often the right person comes into your life at the right time.

 You have the ability to attract all that you desire. You have to believe it for yourself in order for those opportunities to arrive. Be open and work on you own personal happiness so that when the right person enters your life, a healthy relationship can be explored right from day one.xo

Lovers Talk

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives” 

“That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending – performing. You get to love your pretence. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act – and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks.

 They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you’re trying to steal their most precious possession.” —Jim Morrison

To know me is to comprehend the depth and quality of the connections that I have with others. I do not wear a mask and feel that the ease of connection that I have with people is the result of confidence and my ability to immediately put others at ease. 

Why is it so difficult to communicate with your spouse. Why are you afraid to tell him what you need, or what bothers you. If you share your days and your nights with someone, does that not give you the right to be honest in your expression.

Why do men and women not share what they really want out of a relationship. Is it out of fear that it won’t be provided, or perhaps they fear rejection. It serves no good purpose.

 The  mask that you wear only deters you from getting all that you desire.  In time, if you are not honest to your spouse, you are only doing a disservice to yourself and your soul. 

We have an obligation to others and yet if we do not honor our own voice, we will be left with nothing to give. The time to remove your mask is right now.

Give validity to your voice, your innermost desires and listen to those around you. The message is there if you want to hear it. xo

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