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Thursday, February 6, 2014

My Child and Yours

“If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.” 
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

The following statement does not currently work in my favor but it is the absolute truth. I find that when my children are upset, it disrupts my entire sense of well-being.

Last night, as I heard the rustling of papers, the jumbling of items being tossed around- I had a bad feeling. I knew that in a few moments, the agita would set in and I would either join Christopher on his mission to find something or at the very least experience his frustration

I know that it is unrealistic to have happiness under my roof one hundred percent of the time.  However, I do aim for a calm and steadfast environment. I promote harmony and good will daily as it is my natural disposition. Im blessed in that my children are generally happy people.

I find it basically intolerable when my children are distressed about something even if it is what I consider to be a small issue. I take on their frustration and then we are all stressed out. Fortunately this is not a common occurrence but it happened last night. Christopher is a very well-organized and highly structured 13 year old. I don't have to remind him or ask him about any of his responsibilities as he is self motivated.

He had misplaced a paper that he needed for school and was getting annoyed. Over time I have become less involved in helping him find things or solve issues.  I believe that as a parent, it is my responsibility to teach my children how to deal with difficult moments. 

This was going to be one of them as I irritated him more with my line of questioning.
As a single parent I think I go to extra lengths to help maintain one hundred percent satisfaction all the time.
 It’s not realistic but someone how I think it is my way of making up to my children the fact that their father is not local.

It’s a big weight to carry however I have gotten better over time. I realize I can't make up for what he may be lacking. I can only provide the absolute best of myself. Last night, the best thing that I could do was to leave Christopher alone and let him solve his problem.He did and rather quickly. 

There are times when helping our children is a disservice to their growth. As nurturing Mothers, it can be hard to step aside but we must. What will transpire will bring you great satisfaction. You are teaching your child life skills that are far more important than learning dependency.
Kids can’t be happy one hundred percent of the time. We are all human complete with bad days, upsetting moments and such. It is important to experience and learn how to navigate through those moments when we are young.
I can’t give anymore than I do.
Im doing the best I possibly can raising them completely alone.  One day, when they are parents they will  understand the meaning and depth of my commitment to them. They will understand the challenges that I face and the love that I feel for them. 

They will understand why at times Im silent as they are frustrated.

 It is a practice which is strengthening their ability and confidence in themselves. One day they will comprehend all of my actions- this understanding only comes with being a parent. xo

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