Depression Is A Curse

Depression Is A Curse

Ernest Hemingway, Billy Joel, Edgar Allen Poe, Harrison Ford, J.K. Rowling, Mike Wallace, Vincent Van Gogh, Winston Churchill, Ashley Judd, Beethoven, Abraham Lincoln and the list goes on and on and on.

All of the above famous celebrities have suffered with depression at one time or another.  They suffered, their families suffered, their friend suffered and their souls suffered.  Having personally experienced what I refer to as a curse- I know what it feels like.  Im grateful that it did not grace me with it’s ugliness for long as I found it completely unbearable.

I read a book called the Unholy Ghost which is a series of writings by people who have experienced depression. Jane Kenyon wrote the following that I would like to share with you as I believe it is a true depiction of what it feels like to experience depression.

  Credo

Pharmaceutical wonders are at work
but I believe only in this moment of well-being. Unholy ghost,
you are certain to come again.
Coarse, mean, you’ll put your feet
on the coffee table, lean back,
and turn me into someone who can’t
take the trouble to speak; someone
who can’t sleep, or who does nothing
but sleep; can’t read, or call
for an appointment for help.
There is nothing I can do
against your coming.
When I awake, I am still with thee.”

Depression changes your personality. It takes a fun-loving and adventurous soul who is interested and engaged in life and turns them into a person who has no interest in anything.  It creates an inability to enjoy anything or anyone.It takes your capability  to function as a productive individual away and then laughs at your failure.  I would rather live without my right arm then suffer with depression my entire life and Im not joking.

Depression does not discriminate- it caters to the rich and to the poor.  It caters to the talented and flourishing as well as the not so talented. As you can see from the people above it does not matter whether you are successful or not. It does not care if you have a plan for great achievement.

 It will halt you and stop you from thriving and it will be your biggest stumbling block regardless of your intellect or internal fortitude. Regardless of your desire to overcome it as it enjoys lingering.

I know a beautiful woman who has suffered with depression for well over forty years. She grew up in a family who was cultured, sophisticated and well-traveled. From the outside most people would be jealous of all of the trappings that her life has afforded her. If they knew her internal struggles- they would not wish them on their greatest enemy.

Her depression lingers over her like the grim reaper. It affects her ability to enjoy life and to enjoy all of the “things” that she is so blessed to have. Depression has taken over her soul and her heart. She fights it hourly-daily- by the minute and by the second. It has a hold on her that does not want to let go. 

 Therapy and medication have assisted her on her journey but she was born with a fate that had already been predetermined. She must fight for her own survival but the fight is against her own self. Depression is difficult to live with but is an illness that can be managed if addressed accordingly.

I recently read that one in five people will experience debilitating depression at least once in their lifetime. I thought this statistic was alarmingly  high.  It can come at any hour at any time in a person’s life so do not judge those who have depression.  It is random and unforgiving and if it rears it’s ugly head in your direction you will feel it. You won’t have to guess what it is as it will impair your ability to function and you will no longer have interest in anything that once brought you pleasure.

I see Depression as a betrayal of one own’s inner self. You are fighting for control over an illness that has taken over your mind. 

If you know someone who fits the description of someone who is depressed-  step in and take them to a therapist or a psychiatrist. You can help save them or get them on the path in the right direction.  Do not ignore the signs, they are there if you are listening. xo