Another drink please....

It's not that I want Christmas to be over but the truth is... I want the rush before Christmas to be over. I love the day and enjoy it immensely. I love the warmth of my house filled with people that  mean the world to me.  Im thrilled as I observe my children delight in their new electronics and such. The preparation of food and setting the table always feels like a beautiful accomplishment and with proper planning and organization, everything can flow perfectly.

My shopping is almost done, my presents are almost wrapped so all that I have left is the three thousand trips to gourmet markets. Garelick and Herbs take me away..... thank you Paola and Jason Garelick for making the holidays simpler.  www.garelickandherbs.com

Nonetheless, there is still a multitude of things to do that turn into endless lists that turn into anxiety and wonderment as to where in the world any of us will find the time to do all that we need to. Oh and then there is the cookie exchange. Im not a baker so the thought of producing endless cookies has become a stressor for me. No one will notice if my cookies are from Luigi's right?  Don't worry ladies, it was a joke a really bad joke. I promise I will bake my own cookies- it must be a suburban thing as when I lived in the city- no cookie exchanges but I do recall lingerie parties... again Im just kidding.

A Man's Job

Im not saying that lugging a six foot tree into our family room is a man's job however I could have used a hand yesterday.  As I fought with the branches and scratched my arms I thought of my ex husband. He used to delight in this event. He loved to decorate the trees and string up the lighting around our home.  This was "his" job and I was happy to give it to him.  It's  not that I don't enjoy decorating, he simply enjoyed it more than I and why deprive him of his fun.

www.divorcecare.org/holidays/articles/celebratingchristmas


Needless to say, this has been my job now for the past five years. Yesterday when the lights from last year didn't work, I had to run out in my pink Juicy sweats and zebra flip-flops to finish the job. I was at the Rite Aid in Monroe, praying that I wouldn't run into anyone from Easton. Mission accomplished, I escaped with only a few strange stares from strangers- whatever.
  All of this made me think of the everything that Im now solely responsible for as a single parent with an ex living in California. Overall the distance simplifies my life, but yesterday I admit to feeling sorry for myself. It was momentary and fleeting but I did feel it and it saddened me ever so slightly.

This morning I shared this fleeting sentiment with my friend Stephen. He quickly put the fire out on my pity-party as he views me in the highest of regard. He admires my strength as a single mother and sees me as a  talented young woman with a wonderful handle on life and it's challenges. Thank you Stephen for not allowing me to get down. At times, we simply need one person from the outside to say a few words to set us straight.

 I won't lie, I miss decorating for Christmas as a team and part of married couple. There are few aspects of marriage that I miss but clearly this one strikes a cord in me.  This is  not what I had in mind as I often say.

As I write this I am now over it, the thoughts passed and Im proud that I accomplished all that needed to be done by myself. The tree looks beautiful and my children are well and very happy. Our home looks festive and celebratory.  At the moment,  everyone is healthy and we are more blessed than many people in the world around us.