Who Wears Short Shorts

"Who wears short shorts"

Our mornings are typically smooth and uneventful however yesterday proved to be very different. 

My morning began at 5:50 am when Christopher came into my room turned on the brightest light in my room and proclaimed that Giavanna poured out all of his shampoo. He wanted me to punish her on the spot- I explained to him that Im quite sure it was an accident as that would be rather out of character for Giavanna.

He then needed to know where all of his shorts disappeared to- we had cleaned out his closet last week and I organized all of his shorts for storage.

  It quickly dawned on me that my sitter put them in a bag to go to goodwill-  there were only 15 or so  pairs of shorts in the bag so what’s the big deal right-  …. not a good way to start out.

Im hoping that the bag is still in my trunk but Im afraid to look..We then realized that it was Tuesday which means that he has to be in school by 7:20 for student council. I rushed everyone and proceeded toward my car wearing what I slept in-  shorts and a tee-shirt- a Victoria Secret sweatshirt that says something immature. The look was topped off by a pair of sparkly flip-flops that of course had a three inch wedge. I then added sunglasses and headed toward the door.

Giavanna decided that she was coming along and I told her to grab a jacket- as she headed toward me with a pumpkin doughnut in hand- I had to laugh as she was wearing my short mink jacket along with her flip-flops. 

The two of us were a sight to be seen. I didn’t think we would actually be seen which is why I allowed the crazy look of the two of us. It's hardly the first time that I have driven my kids to school wearing something that I would never want to be seen it. 

As I headed down Sport Hill road- I was brought to a time when I was driving with my father at sixteen.  When I learned  how to drive my father emphatically told me that I should always fill my gas tank when it was half full. I have always taken this advice and have never had a problem or even worried about whether or not I had gas… until this morning.

I panicked as the orange gas light went on and thought- great- Im about to run out of gas in this outfit. It wouldn’t normally bother me except I think people are judgmental and gossipy, especially when you live in a small town. 

The last thing a divorced mother of two living in suburbia needs – is to be seen in is shorty shorts- forget the fact that my children are doing well and are in great standing.

 Forget that Im strict with them and I teach religious ed. If anyone sees me not looking up to par- that’s what people will focus on. 

Thank you dear god for letting me fill my tank without running into anyone I know. Another reason why I love city living- No one cares about you as they have enough stimulation around them with all that a city can offer.  New York City- Boston- Rome- I hear you all calling my name and I will get there just as fast as I can. xo