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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Dear Mother

“The hand that rocks the cradle is the one that rules the world.”  W.R. Wallace
My Mother makes me laugh, she is very sweet and generous and we do share many of the same pleasures. We are also extremely different and it often amuses me. Im blessed to have such a beautiful Mother even if she always has a newspaper clipping for me or a coupon to hand me.
 I do not share her love of circulars the slightest bit.  I don’t want to see the the Traders Joes Newspaper of latest product, nor the Shop Rite circular.  I know what I need and when I need it I will purchase it. Im also spontaneous and like to try new things. I do not buy in bulk and I do not own a BJ's card or a Costco card. I dislike shopping in very large stores, unless it has the sign Bloomingdales in the window.
 My Mother will buy nine thousand rolls of paper towels, nine boxes of three pack tissues, and three thousand sponges.  She has enough cleaning products to clean a small apartment complex. Apparently you can never have enough paper goods. If you are in need of paper cups as well- the funny thing is I don't think I have ever ever seen my Mother using a paper cup. 
She lives alone and ten people could survive in her house without shopping for paper goods for seven months- okay six. This has always been the case and it has always amused me and my friends as well. She's cute, she's prepared and she is extremely orderly.
The point is she enjoys stockpiling and is prepared for the next snow storm.  Have we ever not been able to get out the next day after a storm?
 It’s an illusion dear Mother that we will be snowed in for more than a day or two maximum.
 Oh, and by the way it’s doesn’t snow in Florida where you spend your winters. I also remind her that if the paper goods are not in fact on sale this week, rest assured- the sale is coming back and we won’t miss out.
I like to keep a light inventory.  I suspect this is a result of city-living or perhaps having grown up with my Mother- Im rebelling.  It certainly won’t be the first time so I suspect she should be used to it by now. I admit an extra 12 rolls of paper towels comes in handy but I say no to more than that. 
She is very sweet and is continually cutting out articles for me to read. The most recent one was how to prepare efficiently for Easter.  I have my baskets picked out and we are going out for brunch and then to celebrate with friends. Im finished- I think Im doing rather well considering the fact that Im not having the Holiday this year!   I read the articles to appease her and then agree that they were indeed very helpful.  Don’t ever tell me that Im not a team-player.
One of my best friends lives in Manhattan and we couldn’t stop laughing the other night. She was telling me “When Mom comes to visit” stories. Apparently when her Mom sees garbage in the trash can, she will say… “Honey, were you going to throw this out”?
My friend is over forty years old… and has lived alone for twenty plus years-
Dear Mama -My guess is that she’s got the garbage thing all sorted out, however,  Im sure she appreciates your reminders.
Our Mothers, we love them and they drive us crazy. It’s a funny mixture to be shared with girlfriends and no matter how old we are… the stories all have the same theme. They believe that they have a better way of doing everything so they simply want to “help us” by sharing their tips.
Girls- give in to it– they truly are trying to help so bite your tongues, tune out and just smile and nod. It’s much simpler that way. Oh and by the way, Shop Rite is having a BOGO free sale on their paper towels so you better go today- don’t want to miss out on the big savings. xo

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