Timely Love

“An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth.” Bonnie Friedman

I need a soundproof office, fifteen hours of uninterrupted time and someone who can tend to all the tasks while Im not being interrupted by the endless needs of life and children's needs. 

Is that too much to ask for- well apparently it is since I have not had that increment of free time in over ten years. Time- we all want it , we all waste it and too much of it on our hands makes us all a little bit crazy. I enjoy being busy but I need me time. Time to think and create. Time to reflect and time to work. Time to meditate and clear my mind.

It’s the continual  interruption that makes me insane. Not always, but particularly this week as I have been working on a few projects. As a writer uninterrupted flow is a beautiful gift, as a Mother it is an impossibility. 

The requests that I hear from the family room are often the following: Im hungry can I have a cookie, can I get an app, can I buy a song, can we go to Jack Wills, when are we going skiing etc. . It doesn’t end and Im the type of Mother who aims to please. That is problem number one. I have become a glorified servant... not that glorified  --I guess Mothers are all servants to a degree, it is built into our care taking nature. Ninety percent of the time I don’t mind but when Im trying to focus, it makes me grumpy. I need silence to focus. One of the results of being brought up in a quiet home. I have recreated the same peacefulness under my roof, however on occasion....

I wonder if I feel this way even more so since Im the sole parent. I have to answer all the questions, respond to all the issues and problems and provide a solution to all  of the day’s quandaries. I have no one to carry the rest of the load. There are two people that are relying on me for solutions and a whole host of other things.

 Im so used to it that I seldom think about it but when I do, I admit it is quite a job for one person to manage. 

So, my request for fifteen hours of uninterrupted time- I doubt it will come soon so I mist embrace the here and now. I keep close to me the reality that this is the period of time that I am in.

 I embrace the good fortune that I have the ability that I can raise my children where and in the manner that suites me. I know one day I will miss the hell out of both of them. Just thinking about that makes me want to go and do something special for them, thus part of the problem perhaps is me. I indulge in their satisfaction, that too must have been born as I became a Mother.  I can think of much worse things. 

Have a great  Monday xo