Thanks for Reading Suburban Adventure

Monday, January 27, 2014

"Love- That's The way Love Goes"

“The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.”-Erich Fromm

Mothers, we love them, we leave them and we challenge them throughout our lifetime, and then they turn around as we get older and do the same. I have to take my Mom to the airport this winter as she typically goes to Florida for six months every winter. She broke her arm last month so I'm not sure when her departure will ultimately be but Im thinking of it this afternoon.
My Father bought a place near West Palm Beach a while back prior to his death. It is a beautiful place with every room overlooking miles of unspoiled beach. The sound of the waves and the brightness of the moon creates the perfect environment for peace.  The beauty of it clearly attracted him along with the fact that many of my parents life long friends were also enjoying the same area in Florida.
They had gone to Palm Beach one year and fell in love with the general area. It’s elegance and warmth were an easy sell, my father however needed reassurance that we would use it often and as a family gathering spot. He knew his time was limited and his purchase was truly for us. My father was often greatly satisfied by providing us with the wonderful comforts in life.   I think there was great peace knowing that my Mother would be in a beautiful environment with close friends and family visiting often.
My Father never had the opportunity to enjoy it. He died soon after it was fully furnished. There are memories of him all over the place and I think of him as I breath in the beauty of what can be seen from each glass door. The aura of peace and calm permeates throughout. My father is there in spirit and there are many of his belongings that remind me of his never-ending thirst to learn something new.
He never fished before and yet his new fishing gear is still in the closet complete with tags.  His golf clubs are also stored in “my closet” for anyone who desires to play. So now, at this very second it all makes great sense to me.
My sadness, it is not about my Mother leaving although I will miss her. It is the realization that my Father is not the one traveling with her. It’s that she has to travel alone and this is not the way life was supposed to turn out. Im impressed that through my writing I have identified my heavy heart. It’s amazing what we uncover if we are not afraid to delve into our discomfort.
I feel better having figured this sadness out,  at least it is a familiar feeling.  Missing my father has left an emptiness in my heart that I know very well. It is sign of the depth of the love that we have for each other. I am blessed to have had the experience of such a wonderful man in my life for thirty six years.
As I depart of the airport soon and get my Mother checked in, I will silently tell my Father that she is safely on her way and we will visit soon. His wish for us will be fulfilled and his unselfish nature will live on. We are blessed. xo

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