His Smile

"I know that I will never find my father in another man who comes into my life, there is a void in my life that can only be filled by him."

I ran into Trader Joes this morning to grab a few things and ran into several people. The minute a snow storm is pending in the Northeast,  the markets and parking lots become something that resembles that perhaps the end of the world is near. I had never seen the store as packed as it was today.

As I approached the checkout line, I noticed a woman who looked very familiar and it took me a minute or two to place her. It was my former boyfriends Mother -I had not seen her since I was seventeen and dating her son the summer before I left for Northeastern.

She was happy to run into me as we always had a nice relationship. It wasn't long before she mentioned my Mother and Father and expressed her sorrow about the loss of my Father. I continued to put my groceries on the belt until I heard a deep voice.

"I really miss him, I miss your Father- what a great guy. As I look at your smile, it's like looking right at him."

This man looked at me with a great sadness in his face. He was a former partner of my father's and a close friend as well. I had not seen him in at least nine years.

I walked over to him, feeling an instant connection. I remember my father speaking so highly of him when he joined their Radiology practice. I was in high school at the time and I recall thinking he was a handsome man. There was a big welcome party at our home for him so he could meet the Medical community and in time it was clear to me that my Dad truly liked him.

It was clear that not only did he have a great new partner, he also had a new friend in which he admired and deeply respected. My conversation this morning was brief but wonderfully meaningful. I often run into people who knew my Father and they have wonderful things to say about him, but somehow today was different.
 I could feel the pain of  another person who was not a family member truly missing my Father. It was sweet and sad and another confirmation of the great person that my Father was.

He touched the lives of everyone who came into contact with him. He was intelligent, gregarious, generous, warmhearted and genuinely interested in helping and connecting with the world around him. I have been thinking of my Dad since I left Trader Joes.  I feel at peace knowing that he is around me, in spirit, in my heart, and in my smile. Im very lucky xo