Thanks for Reading Suburban Adventure

Monday, September 12, 2011

Is That You Prince Charming ?

Do women still believe that Prince Charming is out there somewhere waiting to fix their life and all that ails them. I cringe when I hear this statement. I have many friends that still hold out faith that their Prince Charming is on the way. Here we are- successful, well-educated, cultured, well-traveled adult women and yet I still hear it. Is it that ingrained into us as little girls that we can't let go of the fantasy.

Personally I let go of it once my marriage failed. In fact way way before that.  I actually do not recall wanting to be rescued… and rescued from what- my fun and exciting single life in Boston- dating handsome professional men- or perhaps my shopping sprees and dining out at wonderful restaurants…. you get my point. My life was full of everything that I needed, except the experience of actually being married and having children. Okay, check did that…. Now Im living in the woods alone with my two children.  My prince is remarried… oh no- they left that part out in the Cinderella story.  The part where the happily ever after turns into a story that has a twist on words and ends up being unhappy after all these years.

Who is Prince Charming?

The fantasy that all woman are programmed to believe is just that- a fantasy.  I have yet to meet more than two woman who feel that their husbands would qualify for the title of night in shining armor.  Do they love them yes- Do they have nice relationships in which their children are thriving- in fact, yes most of them do.  Do they secretly pine for the fantasy that we woman were programmed to believe in- again an emphatic yes.
Is that message baked into our blood while we are still in our mothers wombs. When do we start having the idea that perhaps a man will come and save our day.

Having a daughter and feeling the way that I do.. I have already begun the process of drilling the idea into her head that she must be self-reliant. If she makes her own money and knows how to survive in this world without depending on that "prince"-  it simply gives her choices.
  Her success will not be determined by who she marries but rather by how hard she works and where she focuses her attention. She will be able to live where she wants and drive what she wants because she was not waiting for someone to provide her with those things. She will have freedom, then she can choose a man who will hopefully have a great deal in common with her.

Im hoping that she has already received the message of self-reliance even at this tender age.  If we can't take care of ourselves as adults, how will we ever have be able to make our own decisions about our own lives. We are all in search of the perfect lover. We want him to come and whisk us away, and tend to our heart, our souls and our bodies. We want him to treasure us, adore us and pamper us with all of the luxuries that life can offer. Then, we want him to provide for us, clean up after himself and tend to our children as well.  Where have all the princes gone? Was it a myth after all and sense it is… why o why are so many woman still holding out for him to arrive.

Ladies, the important thing to keep in mind is that there are plenty of wonderful, loving men out there. The role they play however should never be to save you. You must save yourself and create your own kingdom. Then you will attract someone with whom you can share your time, your life and your beauty with. You will not have unrealistic expectations that will only lead to disappointment. The wounds you carry must be healed within by your own hard work and attention.

Only then will your "prince" appear… and when that happens you will find in him an equal. He will not be riding a horse and he will have his own "issues" to deal with.  He will have problems with work, or perhaps his parents or siblings. He may be moody or not desire children.  He will treat you wonderfully but he will be human, complete with imperfections. Welcome those imperfections as we all have them regardless of how wonderful we think we are.

You will have the choice to decide whether he is worthy enough to spend time with you. You will have the strength to leave him or address him should he wrong you. You will have the freedom to do as you please because he is the icing on the cake, a beautiful addition to something that is already whole. xo

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