Fast forward four years and Im preparing for another meeting with my ex husbands attorney and it seems to me- I will be back in the court room in the near future. I suspect this aspect of divorce is the one that I never anticipated. I always thought once the divorce was final, it was final. It is never final if you have children. Modifications and Stipulations are words that I never really paid much mind to. They now flow freely into my conversations and I know exactly what they mean. My knowledge of the law is great and I find the judicial system extremely interesting and sensible.
Im not a lawyer nor have I had experience working in a law firm or so. I do however have intelligence and a sense of honesty as well as the confidence that I can speak on my own behalf. The court room can be intimidating if you allow it to be. Lawyers can be intimidating if you allow them to be. Life can be intimidating if one allows it to be. It is situations such as mine that challenge our sense of confidence and ability. I represent myself- I have studied the law and understand family law. I have consulted with attorneys but when the day comes where the case is being presented before a judge Im the one who has to present my case and argue it on my own behalf. Im not sure that my personality would allow someone speaking on my behalf about my own life. That thought does not sit well with me.
This experience has enriched my belief in my own capability and intelligence. It has challenged me to expand beyond my comfort zone and it has given me the belief that I can conquer many aspects of life with confidence. I tend to move through my fears as opposed to sitting and worrying about them. It is not always the simplest thing to do but it truly is the only way to conquer those things that create anxiety for us.
This process has made me think about going to law school. I think it would be a very satisfying career as I would definitely select family law. Since I have been through the process, beginning, end and modifications- I think I have a very good grasp on the system. I think it would be difficult, rewarding, challenging and interesting. What a fabulous combination - perhaps in my next life. xo