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Monday, June 6, 2011

Boyfriends and Such

Great news- Christopher has given me the green light for a boyfriend. This is hysterical to me, as the okay begins when I turn 65....... um thanks for nothing now that there are no available men for me. I can't stop laughing this Sunday evening as I believe he is serious. Not really- but we do have fun with this topic.

I have a very close relationship with my children and the dynamic of that relationship differs with both. I often wonder why the connection between Mother and Son is so uniquely intense. Is it a result of my divorce, or perhaps because Christopher is the eldest child and is a boy. He is protective and naturally helpful with everything. The thought of me having a boyfriend or getting remarried in his mind threatens the amount of attention that I pay to him. He has the misconception that if Im involved with a man, then everything changes. The beauty of this misconception is that he has already experienced me having a relationship and is absolutely great with it. I think it is just the conceptual aspect of it that is concerning while the reality of it is positive.

Giavanna, my daughter who just turned eight, however, could not care a less if I have a boyfriend or remarry. Ever since she caught wind of the Royal Family, she believes that Prince Harry is the one for me. When she was five, she suggested that Poppleton Pig just might be the perfect mate for me. Apparently, he is a very happy character who lives in a very friendly neighborhood. Some other factors that she considers positive are that he sleeps against his tree, he has a mouse as a best friend and he doesn't need to buy clothes. The best part about him is that his other best friend is a llama. What's better than that!

Im amused and touched by the sentiments that my children frequently express to me about all facets of life. I encourage conversation and tell them that I will answer any questions that come to mind. There is no topic that is off limits. I do not judge their thoughts nor criticize them. I do however guide them and teach them with tangible examples. Im extremely mindful of all of the questions that accompany childhood. We have covered many topics including death, money, marriage, divorce, friendship, natural disasters, cancer, death, religion, the stock market, music and much more. My children ask me about any topic with great ease.

Earlier in the year, Christopher had a week long session of sex-education, which gently covered puberty and such. Prior to the class I took out a book called The New Our Bodies,Ourselves. It is not a book made for children, but rather a resourceful guild to all aspects of female heath. I explained female anatomy and the reproductive system to him. He handled this in a very scientific manner which came as no surprise to me. There was no giggling or nervousness that often occurs when young children are embarrassed. While Im quite sure that his teacher did a stellar job in exploring this topic, it was very important to me that he learned it in a manner in which there was no confusion or misconception. Giavanna will be next and that conversation will be happening sooner rather than later.

We often play a game at the dinner table in which someone picks a card from a pile and we all have to answer the question. It's a great way to encourage stimulating conversation, but it does take time and thought. If you listen without judgement, encourage conversation and make the effort to always look into the eyes of your children when they are speaking, they will learn artful conversation. You will give them a wonderful tool which will benefit them in their personal relationships as well as propel them in their professional life.

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