Wednesday, January 14, 2015
We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.
There are many times particularly in family conversations when I bite my tongue. The inside of me is brimming with commentary, response, or perhaps my true opinion and then I stop. Words and response can add fuel to a fire that barely had a spark. We have control more often than not and holding your tongue can bring a tremendous amount of satisfaction. There are also occasions where words must be delivered however it is most likely more often than not.
Im one to speak my mind so it is a particular challenge for me. I have been putting it into practice not only with my family but in other areas of my life. I let people speak their mind as not everyone is looking for advice, input or opinion. If they are, they typically ask and then Im happy to share my opinion.
Saying everything that you truly feel is never a good idea. Imagine if everyone could hear the thoughts that mull through our minds as we listen to people. Many relationships would falter and rather quickly. Thankfully we have the ability to formulate our opinions and thoughts without having to express all of them.
Don't misunderstand me. I encourage my children to speak up and express themselves as in these formative years I believe it is of great importance to ensure self confidence. This is something that has to come with time and with a realization that we hold the key to many of our personal relationships by the words we speak or the unspoken ones. I have no problem speaking my mind if someone is offending me or my family. I will express my upset with strangers or acquaintances. What Im referring to is the close personal relationships that we nourish and cherish.
Those are the connections that will benefit from less response. I encourage you to try it the next time a family member or close friend annoys you for whatever the reason. Say nothing, don't make a face or a fuss and don't respond.
Don't allow negativity to flourish by responding. It is not a simple task but what transforms as a result is rather magical. You have taken control of a situation and you have gracefully let someone express themselves. Let words roll off your back and have the confidence to not absorb any negativity. Never let the insecurity or issues of others impede upon your great ability to flourish. xo