"" - Garrison Keillor
It is simply impossible for our children to understand the enormity of our love and protection that we feel for them. It is something that can only be understood the very instant one becomes a parent. Yesterday I drove up to Choate to drop some things off for Christopher. As he walked away, I paid particular notice to his broad shoulders and the sense of confidence that exuded from him.
He had a busy schedule so we only spent a thirty minutes together but it was fine with me. I could tell that he was extremely content and was having a wonderful experience. He thanked me and smiled as knew he could count on me. I have always been impressed with his maturity.
The thought however that lingered in my mind as I sat in traffic was the fact that he no longer needed me the way he once did. Most Mothers feel sad at that thought- I do not. I feel proud that I have single handedly given him the tools, and sense of self and assurance, that one needs to thrive while apart from the comfort of home.
It all seems to go by so fast. I never dreamed that I would be living in the woods, raising two children alone from the age of 3 and 6. It was not what I had in mind, nor what I would have expected however, the most challenging aspect of that has passed. My children are now 11 and 14. I have emerged from it, survived it, persevered through it and have been determined to be the best parent to them that I possibly can. Divorce never changed that goal. I have put their comfort, their sense of place and rootedness before all other things and they have thrived.
Our lives, at times take a path that we never dreamed of and it is more than difficult to accept. If we can change what we thought would be and forge ahead with what is the reward can be astonishing. The type of satisfaction that comes from knowing that you made the right decisions, focused on the right priorities and gave 100 percent of yourself is undoubtedly the ultimate reward.