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Monday, February 24, 2014

My Mr. Right

“The Best love story is when you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. ”
A friend of mine who is in her twenties and lives across the world told me yesterday that she is still searching for Mr. Right.
 The thought of that brought me back to my own experience when I was in my twenties. I think I started feeling that way around the age of twenty five. As women, the pressure to find Mr. Right starts to hit many of with each uniquely decorated wedding invitation that arrives in our mailbox. 
There is a surge of weddings that tend to take place in your twenties. If you are spending time with someone that you are crazy about, the sounding alarms starts to become increasingly louder.
The fact that one’s relatives and older family friends feel the need to pile on to the “when is it your turn” conversation, surely does not help. Why do we need to rush one of the most important decisions in our life. How could it be that most people “find” the perfect spouse in their twenties. I think that’s nonsense and I truly believe that people marry the person they are with when they feel they are ready to marry.
 Yes, I know it sounds coarse but I do believe it to be true. “Mr. Right” could be right if he were “Mr. Ready”.
 If he isn’t ready good luck trying to convince him otherwise. In fact, I think that would be a very bad idea. Why would you want to get married if the other person were so reluctant. Trust the warning signs as I believe they are there from the very start.
So as I listen to my friend speak of her desire to find this “Mr. Right” I instinctively want to give her advice. The problem is that when we are in our early twenties, we think we have all the answers. We think that love will see us through the challenges. 
We are still programmed into believing that the Prince will appear and fix everything. Sometimes it happens, most often we are disappointed with the result. Life kicks in, children are born and the challenges of life take away from the romantic dream  that once fueled our belief. 
I miss those days, wondering who I would marry and the fantasy that would soon follow.
I now believe that none of us really know what the unfolding of life will be. Our “plan” may not go as we expected but there is nothing to do but embrace that reality. 
The anxiety of what will happen to us in our twenties is replaced with the comfort that  our strength and our will can guide us through the challenges of life. We no longer put our expectations on others to provide us with all of our happiness.
 Life will take care of us if we dare trust that it will and Mr. Right may go by a different title. xo

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