Musings from a divorced displaced city girl raising two kids solo in Fairfield county.
Observations of life in suburbia to include parenting, relationships,sex, fashion, friendship, family dynamics, and managing life.
There are many interesting as well as comical aspects of living in this beautiful and pristine part of Fairfield county.
It has been eight years since I have divorced. The process in and of itself creates tension and stress on both parties. Discussion of money and children and life as it unravels before you simply can not happen without intense emotion. Time has gone by and for the first time I see a softening in my ex husband towards me.
He is always cordial but this feels different, he is asking about me and not just the children. It’s very nice and for the first time, there may be a possibility of a friendship. Perhaps he is healing from the hurt that I caused him by not moving to California or more importantly he has learned to forgive me.
I think forgiveness can be extremely challenging but it certainly is an essential life skill.
There are so many songs and poetry and self help books written about forgiveness. It is an essential task at hand if you want any forward progress in your life after emotional upheaval.
To forgive someone is to free your own self of negative feelings, anger, hurt and resentment. Forgiveness does not mean that you are not feeling resentful or denying your disappointment.
It is about moving forward not without memory but without the weighing down of hurt and upset.
I have been known to be a very forgiving person. At times I reflect upon this and wonder if this aspect of my personality leaves me more vulnerable than others. Do people take advantage of this facet of my being and simply assume that I will always get over it, whatever the it happens to be. I have become less tolerant of ill behavior as I have matured.
I simply have enough confidence to not subject myself to a situation that does not provide me with happiness. I am capable of providing no more than I ask for in return.
I hold the keys to my own kingdom. I never forget when someone wrongs me or lies to me. It is forever ingrained in my soul but I have the ability to move forward and make progress. People are human and they make mistakes, I am no different.
We have all been hurt, whether it is by our parents, our lovers, our friends, strangers, our spouses, our children, it is inevitable.
If you risk being loved and opening up yourself up to others, than you take a risk that you will get hurt. There is no way around it and it is essential in a successful relationship.
Time perhaps heals all wounds but they would heal faster with an acceptance of grief and a forgiveness that can only come if you want it to. It is not easy but it is one of the best gifts that you can give yourself.
Try it and I guarantee you that your soul will instantly feel lighter and you will feel a confidence and freedom that will make you smile. Forgive someone and watch how much satisfaction you will receive in return.xo