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Friday, March 21, 2014

Happy Relationships

Are you in a Happy Relationship?

I had a great conversation with a friend of mine who I have known since I was fourteen years old. She was laughing as she commented that on her way to the grocery store she passed my house and my mailbox had been pulled off the post.
 On her way home, it was repaired and all was back in order and this was in less than a two hour period.

She knows most of my history and particularly knows that since I have gotten divorced- I have incorporated a few men in my life who assist me with my house and landscaping etc.
 Im fortunate for all of the kindhearted and loving people that care about me and my family.

The topic quickly changed to marriage as she was out this weekend and commented on the fact that many people she knew were getting divorced.
As we were talking I said the following- lose the expectation that marriage equals happiness and all will be fine. She quickly responded that she loved that quote – to which I replied- what did I just say?
We laughed for a bit as we further discussed how we know so many people that are unhappily married. I always ask my friends to name 8 couples that they know who are extremely happy with their spouses. I have yet to have one friend come up with eight. This to me is a very sad commentary on marriage.
My Mother often worries about me since Im divorced. I agree with her that it is indeed “too bad” that my marriage did not work out. 
However I assure her that I have a great situation. My kids are doing wonderfully well and Im surrounded by great friends and men in my life who contribute to my well-being 
I would not rule out remarriage but  at the moment my focus is on raising successful children and being internally happy as an individual.
If I looked around and observed happy couples all around me perhaps I might be swayed. This is not the reality that I see. All around me I see dissatisfied people, in search of more.

I see people with unrest in their souls. I see women who desperately hold on to men who will never change. I also see men who are so insecure that they hold on to past relationships simply to make them feel desirable knowing in their hearts they will never commit to them. 
I see people satisfied with getting less than they deserve in relationships and holding on in the hopes that happiness will not them forever.
It in fact would be wonderfully refreshing to hear from you long-term happily married couples.. Inspire me and enlighten me- I would be fascinated to hear what makes a marriage successful aside from tolerating someone who annoys you.xo

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