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Friday, March 28, 2014

Ex Boyfriends

" We drank a toast to innocence we drank a toast to time. "

Im still friends with a couple of my ex boyfriends.  Good thing Im not married anymore as my former husband did not enjoy this aspect of my life. He in fact met several of them and was no longer intimidated once he had the opportunity to spend time with them.'
 I was thinking of this as I received an Evite invitation from one of them yesterday.  It was a dinner party invitation and his entire family will be there. Im looking forward to attending this in April.
I told one of my friends about this invitation and she found it odd that I was still in touch with him after over twenty years. 
Wait until she finds out that Im in fact in touch with all of them except for one.
Many of these men are married with children and a few are divorced but they are all doing well. I speak with some more than others but cherish each one of them for a variety of reasons. I love the history and place in time that I go back to when I communicate with them.
These men know me better than most people and understand the dynamic of my family, my values, my upbringing, my divorce, my wants and needs and my history. We had wonderful times together and Im happy to know that they are still in my life as wonderful friends.
 I treat my friends with respect and while breaking up is challenging and painful, it clearly can be done in a respectful manner in both directions.
 The friendship has survived with time, and the stressors and demands of our lives  have all intensified.
 As I said, my ex never liked this aspect of me but I just told him it was a result of me being a good friend. 
They were all there for me through each stages of my life thus far and I for them.  They have met my children and I have met theirs. Perhaps their wives are not comfortable with me but our relationship is one of importance and not shameful.
 We are not sexually involved or flirty with each other,  we simply have a history, a richness of connection and the ability to maintain a friendship that is strong enough to stand the test of time.
Don’t be jealous of an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.  There is a difference between a genuine friend and someone who is out to make trouble or steal your partner away. The differences are glaringly different and you will know what their objectives are rather quickly.
 A good friend wants the best for you and doesn’t hit on you if you are involved. If this is not the case then you might want to question the intent.
 Im glad that I have had the opportunity to maintain all of my male friendships. They are insightful, interesting, fun and I love asking them their opinion on life and happiness.
Thank you to all of my ex-boyfriends. I have learned from you and I have spent amazing moments with you. I have cried with you and I have shared my most intimate self with you. 
 I love each of you differently and respect all of you immensely. All of your wives are wonderfully lucky to have such great men in their lives as husbands and as fathers.
  The basis of a great relationship truly begins with a good friend and I have the great fortune of having many. xo

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