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Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Party Is Here!

“Silence and solitude are more distracting to me than chatter and commotion”. Marilu Henner
Im quite sure that my parents did not feel the need to entertain us all the time. Certainly they took us to New York and we went on vacations but as I recall there was plenty of time in which we had to amuse ourselves. 
It wasn’t that difficult - we had plenty of neighbors and the ability to walk outside and connect with others. 
The neighborhood provided built in outdoor fun. I can barely get my kids outside and I hardly see hoards of children playing outside so it’s hard to coax them into believing that outside is the place to be.
I guess we can blame it on modern technology and simply the manner in which we all live. I think it creates a very isolated existence and I can’t imagine that the long-term effects of that will be positive.
 I reassure myself that my children get plenty of socialization while they are in school and involvement in other activities and yet I struggle with all the “indoorness”.
 Perhaps this is just a result of having lived in a city for so long. When you live in an apartment, you tend to spend most of your time outside. There is stimuli and people around the minute you walk out the door. You are instantly engaged in life and simply walking down a crowded street to grab a cup of coffee feels like a minor event. I find the manner in which I live to be extremely lonely and yet I go out more than most of my friends. 
I felt this way when I was married as well so I cannot attribute it to being divorced.
 Perhaps its the solitude of the woods around me or the fact that I can’t walk out the door to grab anything but the paper.  I thought after ten years of living like this I would be used to it and yet there is a longing that takes a hold of me every so often. Thankfully I can hop on the train and be in New York City in under 90 minutes. I love the excitement as I approach the sites and smells of Manhattan, or any city for that matter.
Those who know me well- know that I always have the idea that there is a big party going on somewhere and Im missing out on it.
 Intellectually I know better, and yet there is always that little part inside of me that feels like Im the only one doing the mundane tasks of life. 
How ridiculous it is for me to feel that way especially when I hear others gripe about similar struggles. None of us enjoy doing laundry and cleaning our homes. We all dream of going on a nice tropical vacation complete with every type of service available to us. 
 I don’t think Im different from other people out there however it’s my own voice I hear the loudest. 
So off I go to tend to the chores of life. I will try and embrace all that I must tackle perhaps tomorrow will bring that big party. If not, I will make a fabulous plan anyhow. xo

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