Thursday, October 13, 2011
Ex-boyfriends and birthdays
My ex-boyfriend is turning 43 in a few days and we just had the most interesting conversation about the perception of age. I met him when I was barely 19 and we were together for most of my formative years. Our conversations when we first met were just as insightful, meaningful and intense as they are now. It is so neat to have that connection and friendship with him as it has survived our marriages as well as time and distance. We both make the effort and the connection has never waned. It has morphed over time but it has always been there. He is a person that I can count on and trust and I still enjoy discussing life with him.
Despite his age, which to me is young- he feels that 43 sounds old. He recalls thinking that anyone over forty was old and certainly anything remotely close to fifty was ancient. He is successful and vigorous and has achieved great things and yet as each birthday comes, I sense his concern about his age. The fact that he lives in South Beach probably does not help.
He is bombarded by youthful beauty all around him. He is in the fashion industry and works with models and gorgeous people in every area of his industry. Looking good and maintaining his style and looks is not only part of who he is, it is how he earns a living.
Rumor has it than men age better than women. I have to disagree as I think people age according to how they perceive themselves. "I think therefore I am"
I know so many people who are in their sixties who look and behave much younger and vice versa. It is really a matter of enthusiasm and the vigor that one projects as they process life and challenges. We all age but we don't all turn old. I believe there to be an enormous difference.
My great grandparents all lived into their nineties and many of my great aunts and uncles are still alive and well. They are in their nineties and they live alone. They are engaged in life and they are constantly learning. I believe that the key to youthfulness lies in the thirst to continuously seek knowledge as well as having new experiences. Our minds need to be stimulated as do our bodies. Our hearts need to be involved and active and our connection to others is absolutely essential.
So as my ex-boyfriend turns 43, I laugh when he tells me he really feels like he is getting old. He dresses impeccably and jogs daily. He plays tennis and travels around the world meeting new people and diving into life with complete vigor and enthusiasm. Im quite sure he has not even accomplished half of what he will contribute to this world. I only know that Im blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life who knows me so well and still cares about me- even after all these years.
Happy Birthday Hector- Thank you for showing me the meaning of a truly honest, communicative and trustworthy man. Your friendship has touched my life tremendously and while I know I contributed to your grey hair- you are still young. xo